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Joke of the Day

"Never date a philosophy major My last girlfriend was one and she spent most of her time trying to prove that I didn't exist"

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"My autobiography will be a single piece of paper that says 'Ugh'"
"honk if it's easier 2 love strangers than the ppl closest 2 u"
"I don't know why Chic-Fil-A is so popular... Their food always leaves a fowl taste in my mouth."
"The economy is so bad...."
"Unlike Jesus, I did not have a virgin birth It is, however, looking increasing likely that I'll have a virgin death"
"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? I can't marmalade my cock in someones ass."
"When you say the word ""poop"" your mouth makes the same shape as your butthole when you poop The same can be said for ""explosive diarrhea"""
"For Christmas, my wife wanted something that would go from zero to 160 in 4 seconds So I bought her a new scale."
"""Speak softly and carry a big stick."" -- Teddy Roosevelt ""Yell loudly and talk about the size of your stick."" -- Donald Trump"
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