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Joke of the Day

"An Australian soldier arrives at the front line in WW1 where he meets a British officer. The officer asks ""have come here to die too?"" The soldier replies ""No sir, I came yesterday."""

"I sponsor one of those poor kids on TV. He sends me nice letters, I mail him pictures of me smiling, throwing away food."

"My girlfriend said she doesn't mind what car she gets, as long as it gets her from A to B. Which I fully support. Her boobs are far too small."

"What do you get when you set a dog's tail on fire? Hopefully arrested you sick fuck... also a Dash-hound"

"I'm confused. Hi Confused. I'm a dad joke."

"Mother: Fred why did you put a slug in your grandma's bed? Fred: Because I couldn't find a snake."

"Wife: he has no sense of adventure. he even refuses to ride a roller coaster Therapist: go on Me: oh so you're taking her side now"

"How many Deadheads (Grateful Dead fans) does it take to change a lightbulb? No one knows, they wait for it to burn out and follow it around for twenty years."

"How do you pay a quiz master? with finances."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a lobster with implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other's a busty crustacean!"