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Joke of the Day

"came from my uncle: Why is the capitol of Ireland growing so fast? because the population is always Dublin."

"How do Helen Keller's parents punish her? Glue doorknobs to the walls."

"Why did the man drink two beers with his lunch? Because he wanted to drink two beers with his lunch."

"I have found a cure for people suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder... ... just send them to concentration camps."

"Bad money What is the difference between an angry rabbit and a counterfeit dollar bill? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny."

"What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a zit? Nothing, they both come on a boy's face when he turns 13."

"What do you call a cross between... a Mafia Don and post-modernism? An offer you can't understand."

"If I ever go missing, put up fliers saying I left a dog in a hot car so people will actually look for me."

"""Google, how long will my trip to Cleveland take? ""Your trip will take 5 hours"" ""Google, I have a child. ""Your trip will take 9 hours""."

"wander ten miles over the German border, shoot everybody in sight and then claim you were never over the line"