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Joke of the Day
"I'm shaking what my momma gave me. It's the most darling snowglobe I've ever seen. LOOK AT IT."
Next Joke
"I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I buy cheap toilet paper."
"Two muffins are baking in the oven, one muffin turns to the other muffin and says ""man its getting hot in here"" and the other muffin turns back to him and yells "" ahhh!!! a talking muffin!!"""
"Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors? Because they take everything, literally."
"What did the Grateful Dead fan say when he ran out of pot? What's that noise?"
"What did the elephant say to the naked man? ""How do you breathe through something so small?"""
"When my cat has an accident on the carpet, he hides to escape responsibility. It's a, ""shit and run""."
"How cowboys are made ""Dad?"" ""Yes, son?"" ""Where do Cowboys come from?"" ""Well, son. When a cow and a boy love each other very, very much..."""
"Santa came last night. Oh god.... it's everywhere :("
"What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? ""Oh sheet!"""