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Joke of the Day

"Two muffins are baking in the oven, one muffin turns to the other muffin and says ""man its getting hot in here"" and the other muffin turns back to him and yells "" ahhh!!! a talking muffin!!"""

"Why should you never go down on a girl the morning after a night of sex? ..ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Why do you see so many Bernie Posts on r/all? Because supporters of other candidates are out working or voting."

"What do you call two crows? Attempted murder."

"How do you kill a troll? Take away its internet access."

"You know how it goes, I say tomato You say what are you doing in my house?"

"Did you know that men are more successful than women in committing suicides? Ladies, can you gals do anything right?"

"Why is the white guy the scariest guy in prison? You know he's guilty."

"You know how you have that ONE hoodie that no matter when or what you're eating -- you ALWAYS spill something on it? It's cuz you're a pig."

"When I get overly proud of America, I simply remember that in 1999 we made Mambo No. 5 a number one hit."