85851

Joke of the Day

"Just found out my daughter's super power is repeating what I've said about others as soon as she meets them."

"Why did the concrete fail at its job? It couldn't take the shear stress"

"Why is it important to have plenty of help when changing a light bulb? Many hands make light work."

"What do you call a slut that just took laxatives? DiWHOREea"

"What do Abraham Lincoln and an '80s sitcom have in common? Both were shot before a live audience."

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire :)"

"This girl told me that she wouldn't sleep with me if I was the last person on Earth. If I was the last person on Earth, she wouldn't have a choice in the matter."

"What's a turtle's favorite type of shoe? Green clog. (looks almost like a turtle shell)"

"Did you hear Apple is going into the wine business? Their vineyard will produce every varietal of wine... except ports."

"I tried to donate blood to the Red Cross the other day... ...but they wouldn't accept it in a 5 gallon bucket. They also said it had to be mine."