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Joke of the Day
"Cats love it when you give them a mohawk"
Next Joke
"I'll catch you later: Cool thing to say to a friend, scary thing to say to a child."
"""Sir your resume says you can read minds."" ""Yup. And you're thinking 'Why would he put that on a resume?'"" ""Oh. My. God. You're hired."""
"What do you get when you cross a mormon and a raptor? A Utahraptor"
"One thing that watching cartoons have taught us. Gravity only works if you look down."
"The liquor store cashier asked me my birth date so I said ""12-25-0000"", and stared into his eyes majestically."
"Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong. *(I'm sorry)*"
"Danny DeVito... Danny DeVito is 70 years old, but he's had a short life."
"Just ate so much burrito that halfway through, I couldn't remember a time when I wasn't eating a burrito"
"My grandpa dropped this one on me over the phone. I'll see you in church, make sure you sit by the window."