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Joke of the Day

"This girl told me that she wouldn't sleep with me if I was the last person on Earth. If I was the last person on Earth, she wouldn't have a choice in the matter."

"There are directions with pictures on this underarm deodorant. Yet another disaster avoided."

"That awkward moment when you have to get over someone you never even dated."

"I heard Nintendo once planned to change Donkey Kong's name for their audience in Germany There, he was originally gonna be called ""Danke Kong"""

"I opened a company.... for guys with erectile dysfunction because I felt sorry for them. Now they all want a bloody raise."

"""I love you. I'd do anything for you."" -let me see your phone real quick ""You're smothering me. I need some space"""

"What do you call a group of people from Portugal? Portugeese"

"Wanna piss a rhinoceros off? Hang his car keys on his nose."

"There was no bonus fry at the bottom of the bag. But the story has a happy ending. I found it later in my sports bra."

"What type of dog did the tweaker have? A pure bred meth lab."