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Joke of the Day
"What was Will Hunting's backup plan if that guy said he didn't particularly care for apples?"
Next Joke
"A Higgs boson walks into a church... The priest says, ""We don't allow Higgs bosons in here."" The Higgs boson replies, ""But without me, how can you have mass?"""
"When I'm having a shitty day sometimes I go to WalMart and just smile and show off my teeth."
"Tried to challenge the guy in the stall next to me to a thumb war, now he's holding my hand & crying about his childhood. I need to wipe."
"You didn't like it. I was going to tell you a joke about my time machine"
"Canadian spelling is different from American spelling For example they spell the days of the week as Mondeh, Tuesdeh, Wednesdeh..."
"[on a business trip to South Carolina] Nice to meet you. I'm from Philadelphia. ""Welcome to the United States."""
"Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address you turn the radio down?"
"""God hates fogs"" - homophobic clouds"
"My little sister's cat died... ...she cried telling me she needs another identical one. I got her one today, but i don't know why she needs another dead cat."