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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood? Going inside to ask for a coat hanger."

"Samsung users are like... ""Im glad Samsung is finally blowing up."""

"Breaking: CNN confirms planes need fuel to fly. In other news, scientist confirm brains are not needed to work at CNN."

"When people put pics of their vacation on FB I write: I saw fire trucks outside your house but I'm sure you already know, have a great time!"

"I like playing with my dog when I'm high. Because I don't have one when I'm sober."

"Can't wait to start my New Years resolution in 2018!"

"Do you know the hardest part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.."

"I wear the same 2 Halloween costumes every year. I start off as a ""ghost"" and end up as a ""drunk ghost that needs a ride home."""

"So i was trying to come up with a short joke about Catholic priests... But all the little ones were taken :v"

"Good kid joke. Lame adult joke. Knock knock. Who's there? Salad. Salad who? It's the salad! Lettuce in!"