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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a nut that eats other nuts? A pecan-nibal! Made this up at work while hungry."

"FBI AGENT: [lifting crime scene tape and walking in] dale howard, fbi ME: [following him] bob vulfov, looking for a bathroom"

"One of my employees took 6 months off work to get in touch with his inner child... ... he came crawling back"

"Today is a new day. Be thankful. Do something nice for yourself. Call someone you haven't spoken to in a while. Run with a pair of scissors"

"What kind of drink does a ghetto drinks? A GHETTOrade"

"Prostitutes are like the Elves from Lord of the Rings When you know them well enough they tell you their true name"

"Getting my dad some strong aftershave and a cigarette lighter for Christmas. Can't wait to see his face light up."

"What do you call five African-Americans born together? Triplets."

"How do you call a meerkat? C'meerkat."

"What was the name of Hitler's Political Party: A, B, C, or D? Heres a hint: It's not C!"