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Joke of the Day

"Getting my dad some strong aftershave and a cigarette lighter for Christmas. Can't wait to see his face light up."

"Apple just announced a 20-year plan to develop technology that actually allows grid-like manual organization of Home screen app icons."

"Just because it's Friday the 13th, people seem to think that horrible things are going to happen, like another shitty horror movie being released."

"My wife's cooking is incredible. With a silent 'cr'."

"Did you hear about the Dick that graduated from Law School? He was appointed first attorney genital."

"Want to hear a clean joke? A man takes a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man"

"why do ghosts like elevators? it lifts their spirits"

"What's the difference between eugenics and a charity marathon? The second one is a race for the cure. Source:http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3180"

"My urologist told me I need to stop masturbating... I asked him why and he told me it's very innapropriate masturbate during a physical exam."

"My mother has now been sending me a Valentine's card for 28 years. She's persistent but I'm not interested."