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Joke of the Day
"What's ET short for? Because he's only got little legs."
Next Joke
"The only reason I watch political speeches is cause I'm hoping there's gonna be a sniper."
"""I'll have the Anti-sleeping Prescription"" ""Sir, those are kids"" ""Gimme two"""
"Knock knock. Who's there? Grandpa. Shit, stop the funeral!!!!!"
"I'm terrified of elevators I take steps to avoid them"
"I have a friend who's half Indian. Ian"
"what do you think of the number 4? you mean like on a scale of 1 to 10? stolen from: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/31g6qc/i_am_a_don_hertzfeldt_filmmaker_ama/cq1dzn8"
"What does 80 year-old pussy taste like? Depends..."
"I had a chat with my ex-girlfriend last night. He's doing really well."
"America's national mascot should just be a drunk white girl typing on a shattered iPhone."