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Joke of the Day

"""Super Mario, come quick! Bowser kidnapped the princess!"" -That fucking coward! I'll kill him! Which way did he go? -He went to the left. -**Goddammit!!!**"

"A blind man.. Is walking down the street and stumbles upon a fish market With out skipping a beat he says ""good morning ladies!"" *proceeds to play colt 45*"

"My Spanish teacher taught me the word for ""Transgender"" I asked him if the word is masculine or feminine"

"I invented a new word! Plagiarism!"

"Sometimes I spend so much time on Twitter in the bathroom that I actually pee twice."

"I tried to teach my penis how to type... but he's just a hunt and pecker."

"Sex is like a key and a lock. If a lock can be opened by any key, it's useless. If a key can open any lock, that is a good fucking key."

"If a girl stabbed me on our first date, how many days should I wait to ask her out again?"

"Justin Timberlake visits the Ukraine. Where does he visit first? Crimea River"

"What's the difference between a robber and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch and the other watches your snatch"