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Joke of the Day

"What kind of vehicle did they use to transport prisoners to concentration camps during the holocaust? Ju-Haul"

"I don't know. ""Hairy ass"" makes me sound kinda edgy but ""fuzzy bum"" is more family friendly. It's a tough call. Resumes are tricky."

"Let's stop listing pagers on that list of electronic devices that should be turned off."

"I farted in an Apple Store today and got thrown out because of it Not my fault they don't have Windows"

"[After 20 min at your house] I used all your toilet paper ""Check in the cabine-"" All of it ""We have more in the gar-"" All of it all of it"

"Did you hear about the pathological liar who went to see the doctor for constipation? He was full of shit"

"Airport receptionist: anything to declare? Me: how bout these guns? *flexes* Her: OH GOD HE'S GOT GUNS! Me: wait.. I was.. Her: HELP!! AGH!"

"Yo mama so bald even a wig wouldn't help!"

"Every restroom says gentleman on it...since I'm a degenerate asshole I've been pissing in the trash cans outsidee them."

"What do you call a dog with iron balls? Sparky."