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Joke of the Day

"I heard PAX and Comic Con won't be merging after all... They wanted to avoid so much.... con-fusion."

"Why did the soviet plane crash? It was stalin"

"If there were no food left what could people do? Country people could eat their forest preserves and city people could have their traffic jams."

"Q: What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? A: The car salesman can probably drive!"

"The doctor told me I should stop masturbating today. So I look him straight in the eye and asked him ""why?"". And then he said something about not being able to work in these conditions."

"My teacher said he doesn't like imaginary numbers because the uses are limited. I asked him whether he was for reals."

"Ultimately, even the mighty invincible Achilles was killed with a bowshot to his foot. Time wounds all heels"

"What did the fish say when he ran into a concrete wall? Dam!"

"How many FIFA officials does it take to change a light bulb? **None**. They operate in the **dark**."

"My son failed gym. But he unlocked every achievement on Left 4 Dead so it's a wash."