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Joke of the Day

"How many FIFA officials does it take to change a light bulb? **None**. They operate in the **dark**."

"[job interview] ""What would you say is your greatest strength? I'm pretty humble. Actually, I'm incredibly humble. Amaaaaazingly humble."

"He was the best human cannonball the circus ever had. You seldom meet a man of his caliber."

"Q. How do you drown a blonde? A1. Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. A2. Stick a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool."

"If Hodor was black Wouldn't his name be Hodeedoe?"

"ATMs should have built in breathalyzers. I would save so much money"

"Went to a parade. For an hour, bored people on floats waved. For an hour, My 2-year-old waved back. It was the greatest day of her life."

"After my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I decided to start thinking about names. In the end I went for Juan Carlos and hopped on the next flight to Spain."

"My mute friend told me a funny joke."

"I'm going to skip home tonight because sometimes life is seriously brilliant. *throws confetti*"