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Joke of the Day

"Ultimately, even the mighty invincible Achilles was killed with a bowshot to his foot. Time wounds all heels"

"What do you call a Spartan king with a disease? Leonitis"

"""You know where you are? You're in the jungle, baby. You gonna DIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!! ...Only Kidding! Welcome to Red Lobster, party of 2?"""

"A black guy and a jewish guy jump off a building, who lands first? who cares."

"George washington said ""We would have a black president when pigs fly!"" ... well, swine flu."

"What did the blind fortune teller tell his customer i can see your future (I'm not sure if this has been posted already)"

"My home pregnancy test came back negative. I guess my house is just getting fat."

"Two reasons i never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone 1)I don't have an iPhone 2)I don't have a girlfriend."

"What happens when you stick your hand in a jar of jelly beans? The black ones steal your watch."

"Q: Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants? A: They've had little use."