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Joke of the Day

"A girl told me that I have a really strong tongue today. It was my dentist holding my tongue back as the other one was filling a cavity."

"Whoever named it a ""mobile"" phone obviously didn't anticipate me spending the day on the couch covered in crumbs reading Twitter."

"My uncle found the g-spot once... ...he tells people he lost those two fingers in the war."

"Passenger: Does this bus go to London? Conductor: No. Passenger: But it says London on the front. Conductor: There's an advertisement for baked beans on the side but we don't sell them!"

"Race jokes are NEVER okay! Unless it's between a tortoise and a hare. :)"

"What kind of tree would have the best bark? Dogwood. Don't you dare judge me, it was on my popsicle stick. :P"

"This is how clickbait works."

"Crush: ""Hey!"" Me: *Retard mode activated*"

"Just because I am an Italian American doesn't mean my family is in the mob.... It means we used to be."

"Teacher asks a student to count from 0 to 10 Student : 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 Teacher : Where is 5? Student : Yesterday I heard in the news that 5 died in a car accident. DIE"