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Joke of the Day

"What kind of tree would have the best bark? Dogwood. Don't you dare judge me, it was on my popsicle stick. :P"

Next Joke
 
"Me: Help Universe: LOL"
"Do you know what that white shit in bird shit is Shit..."
"People that proudly carry their yoga mats around town... I get it. I carry my Burrito around with that same pride."
"2000s kids wont get this. Y2K"
"I saw a midget carrying a TV out of Best Buy I asked, ""Hey, do you need help with that flat-screen?"" He replied, ""Fuck off, this is a Kindle!"""
"Me with megaphone: ""COME DOWN FROM THERE. YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR."" Man: ""I'm fixing your roof tiles, remember?"" Me: ""I FORGOT!"""
"What do you call a racist cereal? Special KKK"
"[Wrench factory] BOSS: I'm proud to say it's been 250 days without an injury! WORKERS: *celebrate by tossing all the wrenches into the air *"
"Our kitchen is starting to look like a middle school science fair"