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Joke of the Day

"Just because I am an Italian American doesn't mean my family is in the mob.... It means we used to be."

"- What do you do to relax? - I enjoy people watching. - The most relaxing thing for me is singing in the shower. - I know."

"Whats the difference between a cockpit and a condom? you can only get one prick into a condom -Fight Club"

"Dear women married to homophobic racist adult males: Nice ass."

"Why don't seagulls fly by the bay? Because then they'd be bagels"

"Did you know darth veder got married His wife is elevator Terrible joke I know"

"What do we want? An end to auto-correct errors! When do we want it? Cow! Sow! Bow! Tow! Duck this!"

"I don't ALWAYS post filthy tweets, but when I do, it is right after I'm followed by someone with ""my Lord and Savior"" in their bio."

"Did you know Darth Vader had a wife? Her name was Ella.... Ella Vader."

"What did the statue say to the chair? Chair? Statue?! :D"