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Joke of the Day

"Teacher asks a student to count from 0 to 10 Student : 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 Teacher : Where is 5? Student : Yesterday I heard in the news that 5 died in a car accident. DIE"

"When someone is absolutely positively sure they're right about something is when I'm absolutely positve they're completely full of shit."

"Make it a Great Friday by not getting nailed to a cross."

"Two dyslexics.. walk into a bra."

"If you are a turkey right now and someone offers to cut off your head, stuff you full of dressing, and cook you, do not do it. It is a trap."

"The other day, a clown held the door open for me. It was a nice jester."

"Why do pornstars enjoy working as waitresses? Because they always get the tip"

"My lifetime stats are pretty average until you move over to the Donuts Consumed column."

"Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had not arms."

"Anyone who thinks that women can't be funny has obviously never watched one try to parallel park."