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Joke of the Day

"If you ever think you're not creative, buy a Bowflex and marvel at the creativity of your excuses not to use it."

"When you're sad, hug a kid. But make sure it's yours cuz that shit would be weird."

"I accidentally wet the bed I share with my girlfriend.... She's still pissed"

"I like my women how i like my Little Ceasars Pizza... Hot and Ready for only $5."

"Fish must be like super sad because it probably took a whole lot of tears to fill the whole ocean."

"Women used to call me ugly until they heard how much money I have Now they call me ugly and poor. (Heard a long time ago, couldn't find source)"

"If you die in a plane crash, you also die in real life. That's just what I heard."

"The difference between polygamy and monogamy. Polygamy is having too many wives, but monogamy is having one wife too many."

"What kind of bees produce milk? Boobees"

"What times does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon? Tennish"