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Joke of the Day

"If you ever think you're not creative, buy a Bowflex and marvel at the creativity of your excuses not to use it."

"My mother says I look just like an animal when I'm in the bath - a little bear."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water?... You're gonna have to give me a minute to get hard, I just got laid by some chick."

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on different levels of noise. The librarian says, ""Sure, what Volume would you like?"""

"Interview Boss: Greatest weakness Me: Sometimes I answer questions with 90s rap lyrics B: Is that here on your resume M: Whoomp, there it is"

"I don't get you Vegans. If cows didn't want to be eaten, they'd move faster."

"Yo momma so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck."

"Ever hear about the Roman general who had a fit every time there was cold weather? Hail.. seizure"

"""Why did u jump off that bridge?"" My friend did it too ""Well if your friend jumped off a bridge would u?"" Yes. I literally just said that"

"Irritating friend: I passed your house yesterday. Me: Thanks. I really appreciate that."