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Joke of the Day

"Irritating friend: I passed your house yesterday. Me: Thanks. I really appreciate that."

"This fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two you heard combined"

"What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ? An alarm cluck !"

"How are airplanes and women alike? They both have cockpits."

"Apparently Trump is a neo-Marxist He wants to seize the means of reproduction."

"Eternal damnation for the sorry acquaintance who cons you into watching his favorite film and keeps looking to see if you're reacting."

"Press 1 for English. Press 2 For shitty customer service in any language."

"[break-in] BURGLAR: [cracks safe] COP: Not so fast, kiddo BURGLAR: [cracks safe more slowly]"

"Are you afraid of the dark? Just sing the opening line to ""The Sound of Silence."" Darkness will feel like you're being clingy and leave the room."

"What do you call someone with brown hair and a red beard? ""Chin""ger"