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Joke of the Day
"Why am I subscribed to r/History I just realized there never anything new there"
Next Joke
"Feel free to use the ""or less"" feature of your 140 characters."
"We're out of duct tape, craft glue, and frozen orange juice because I made a sandwich while I was drunk last night."
"I hate when people think my real name is Jennifer, because it's not, it's Jennitalia."
"ME: I have crab like reflexes DAD:I think you mean cat like reflexes ME: [sitting in pot of boiling water] what"
"Merry Christmas and Happy Ho idays to friends and oved ones c ose and far. B essings to you and yours this Yu e season. This is my no-L greeting!"
"My ice maker broke and now I have to make ice, in trays. I'll be on Pinterest looking for a recipe."
"What do you call a letter from a feminist? Hate mail"
"Me: My dog has gone missing Dog pound: What colour is it? Me: Brown Dog pound: Sex? Me [turns to wife]: Has the dog lost his virginity?"
"She told me to give her 9 inches, and make it hurt. So i fucked her 3 times, and punched her in the nose"