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Joke of the Day
"The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense."
Next Joke
"If you open your iPhone camera when it's reversed, and your own face scares and shames you, it's considered cardio."
"Why yes, I do live under a rock. It's called the moon."
"All-day Christmas music at work, day 4: Just Googled ""Candy cane prison shank"""
"I turned off Auto-Correct for the first time, and now my new girlfriend thinks she has a face that launched a 1000 shits."
"What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already? Mistress: Are you done yet? Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige..."
"What's black and doesn't work? Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard."
"What goes ""Clip""? A one legged horse!"
"I asked my daughter's dentist for her favorite joke. Was not disappointed. What is the latest fad among teenage mermaids in the city of Atlantis? Taking shellfies with their shellphones."
"I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. **It was riveting!**"