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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross an illiterate african american with an illegal hispanic immigrant looking for a green card? A U.S soldier."

"Who else does this? 1. wets toothbrush 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush 3. wets toothbrush again 4. does backflip on to huge pile of money"

"The new Samsung phone shares every picture you take with all your friends as soon as you take it. Good idea. What could possibly go wrong?"

"As a kid I'd watch Price is Right and think ha that sucks he won furniture. Now I'm like, wow I can really use a new bedroom set."

"My grandpa has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the local zoo."

"""Old Macdonald had a farm. Had."" -banks"

"Girl are you a gorilla enclosure Because I want to throw a kid in you."

"We are the sand. The wind will blow us. The ocean will beat us. Life is a beach."

"Cigarette's killed my wife. She was run over by the Marlboro truck."

"When I was little I told my mom, ""when I grow up I want to be a magician."" ... She said to me, ""you can't do both!"""