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Joke of the Day
"How did Wendy die? The Baconator."
Next Joke
"You're like an opera singer.... Cause it's all about me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-meeee ----Robert Kelly"
"My mom caught me smoking weed. She punished me by sending me to my room without any supper."
"My girlfriend accused me of sleeping with her sister and I was like, ""How can that be possible when her snoring keeps me up all night?"""
"How long did it take Goku to change a lightbulb? 20 Episodes and Krillin dies."
"[1st date] ""I'm really into roll playing,"" I tell her with a wink, and make two pieces of complimentary bread pretend to kiss."
"I think Oranges were named before Carrots ""What are these?"" ""They're orange....oranges"" ""What about these"" ""Shit....long pointys???"" Demitri Martin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYVrp_GsinE"
"Saying ""oh my gosh you're getting so big!"" is cute and acceptable to say to a 6 year old. Not so much to an ex-girlfriend."
"Why are gay people always confused? It's because they are not thinking straight."
"There is a ""lie"" in believe, ""over"" in lover, ""end"" in friend, ""us"" in trust, ""ex"" in ""next"" & ""if"" in life."