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Joke of the Day

"When I was little I told my mom, ""when I grow up I want to be a magician."" ... She said to me, ""you can't do both!"""

"Autocorrect changed smell to spell but you know what? Your spelling is horrible too."

"Dude, your girlfriend's tits are so saggy... I bet she walked straight off of page 12 of National Geographic Magazine."

"Where do you put a black jew? the back of the oven!!!!"

"Ladies, are you having wine? Don't be shy. Let us know about it on all of your social media websites."

"My Google searches read like an alien trying learn how to be a person."

"Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? A: Half a measure."

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? Break that faggots spine."

"Did you hear about the word that's changed in the dictionary? It means to make or become different."

"I have ebola. AMA"