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Joke of the Day

"Who else does this? 1. wets toothbrush 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush 3. wets toothbrush again 4. does backflip on to huge pile of money"

"I doubt vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot."

"Hot singles in your area are tired of it all. Just so tired."

"When a girl says she wants you to splurge on her Calm down, it's not what you think..."

"Why do nymphomaniacs like submarines? Because they're long, hard and full of seamen."

"Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."

"What's Helen Keller's favorite color? Corduroy."

"Ikea said if they catch me stealing any more kitchen utensils I'll be banned for life. But I'm willing to take the whisk."

"Want to avoid making excuses when people ask you to hang out? Always say no when someone asks ""wanna hear something amazing?"""

"I asked for a ham and swiss, you gave me a meatball instead Woops, wrong sub."