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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment ? A flat fish !"

"My friend wanted to give me a free puppy... I did not accept because their mother was a real bitch."

"Gravity makes a terrible friend. It's always holding you down."

"There used to be a superhero that could turn into furniture and wore a crown... He was sofa king cool."

"Maced a hobo who started pulling cables out of my computer at work. Turned out to be the hipster IT guy and now I'm in HR again."

"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His summer was ok."

"I had a dream about mufflers last night... I woke up exhausted"

"Last night my girlfriend asked me ""Which of my girlfriends do you think is the prettiest?"" What I actually heard was ""Do you want a fight?"""

"What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia!"

"Why can't a prostitute count to 70? Because 69's a mouthful."