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Joke of the Day

"Why can't a prostitute count to 70? Because 69's a mouthful."

"The kids at school used to call my mum the village bike She wasn't promiscuous; when I was six years old she went missing and they found her in the canal. (Mat Ewins)"

"How much did Juan weigh after eating Chinese food? Juan ton"

"Help! I have food stuck in my throat! Haha, just choking!"

"A man walks into a bar and the bartender says: I think you've had enough already."

"Son, your mother and I looked at your browser history. Frankly, it's not pretty. Do you for real need a walkthrough for Call Of Duty"

"M: If I cashew looking through my windows agai- H: What? M: I saw you pecan! H: No, I wasn- M: You're macadamian me mad. H: You're nuts."

"Sure, 50% of marriages end in divorce and yeah, that's sad. But 100% of married people will die, and isn't that a greater tragedy?"

"Hey, reddit, what is the most offensive joke you know? I just thought of this one. It should be pretty entertaining!"

"Your mom is like the Liberty Bell ............ Everyone gets to feel her crack !"