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Joke of the Day

"Do I hate when people answer their own questions? Yes."

"How much does the average gay man ejaculate? I don't know but I hear it's an assload."

"As I pulled back the ring-pull on my 5th can of beer, I heard ""Hello."" I thought to myself, ""It must be the drink talking."""

"GOD: Done! Every animal niche perfectly filled WOODPECKERS: We didn't get anything GOD: Oh. Uh...just pound trees with your face"

"Q: Have you heard about the new Iraqi Air Force exercise program? A: Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there."

"What kind of juice does hitler drink? Concentrated juice."

"What do Libyan people put in their TV remotes? Tripoli batteries."

"What if there were no hypothetical situations?"

"Turn off autocorrect? Challinje aceptid."

"I tried crossbreeding my cows. I was attempting to create a new type of milk that was super sweet. Instead, none of the cows would even produce milk. It was a complete and udder failure."