84419

Joke of the Day

"LIKE if you remember having to REWIND a video before you returned it."

"What do you call someone who talks to others in public restrooms? A urinarrator."

"What's the difference between a condom and a coffin? Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going."

"Potatoes are high in carbs. 'Baked' potatoes are just high."

"If you receive a text from Liam Neeson that says ""LMAO,"" it stands for ""let's murder Albanians overseas"" and he wants his daughter back."

"DINOSAUR PARTY TRICERATOPS: GROUP SELFIE!! *hands phone to T-Rex T-REX: Still not funny you guys. Not. Funny."

"I'll tell you what's a dangerous insect... ....That Hepatitis Bee"

"[HR office] HR: you know why you're here, right? Me: HR: you can't ""contract"" Down's Syndrome & you can't call in sick with it"

"What do a pregnant teenager, frozen beer, and a burned pizza have in common? Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time."

"My day has been so awful I keep looking around to see if Nicolas Cage is in it."