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Joke of the Day

"If you receive a text from Liam Neeson that says ""LMAO,"" it stands for ""let's murder Albanians overseas"" and he wants his daughter back."

"Wish I had a neck like an owl so when a guy is spooning me right after sex I could turn my head all the way around and say that was awful"

" Client not paid? Add opacity to the body tag and increase it every day until their site completely fades away"

"Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A: Her wedding cake."

"Beauty is only skin deep... but it sure looks good on the ladies."

"I want to die peacefully, like my grandfather Not screaming, like the people in the bus he was driving."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? You fuck her"

"My grandad has the heart of a lion... ...and a lifetime ban from the Edinburgh zoo"

"*hires 2 personal trainers and makes one of them train the other one*"

"Where can you find a scientist that's into bestiality? In his lab!"