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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a condom and a coffin? Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going."

"I talk a lot. Your happiness will depend on your ability to figure out what matters and what doesn't. Good luck. - Women"

"How do you make a cookie dance? Throw a little dough at it!"

"Why did? Why did the house cross the road, One of the most difficult to solve cross the road jokes, I'll give the answer when you all give."

"Sorry I didn't text you back, my hands are sore from karate chopping loaves of bread in half and feeding them to starving children all day."

"Now that Britain has left the EU, you'll need a Visa to get in and around ...for everything else, there's Mastercard."

"I'm convinced that those at work who drum on every available surface incessantly killed things as a child."

"An asshole What do you call a person who reads the punchline before the joke?"

"3yo: I want to help! Me: You can help by being quiet. 3yo: Me: 3yo: I want to help in a different way!!!"

"I tried to kill a spider with glitter spray... Now it won't stop stripping and I have to call it cinnamon."