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Joke of the Day

"My favorite thing about all the people waiting in line for the new iPhones is for those hours the rest of the world is a better place."

"Two wizards in a car were driving along and the police were chasing them for speeding. One said ""What are we going to do?"" The other replied ""Quick turn the car into a side street."""

"Last night I dreamed of a color I had never seen before. It was a pigment of my imagination."

"WIFE: Don't be scared of him. Tell your boss you quit. ME: Ok, I will. [later that day] ME: I quit BOSS: WHAT?? ME: I said, nice squid"

"A man walks into a zoo but there was only a dog in it. It was a shitzu."

"DIET TIP: You are what you eat. Do you really want to be celery? C'mon. Not even celery wants to be celery."

"What does the H stand for in Jesus H Christ? [Lame Joke] Haploid"

"Friends are like condoms: They protect you when things get hard."

"Why I think North Korea is a bad place [deleted]"

"Q: What happens to an air conditioner when you pull its plug? A: It loses its cool."