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Joke of the Day
"Last night I dreamed of a color I had never seen before. It was a pigment of my imagination."
Next Joke
"LPT: If you ever find that your hard drive has been wiped, don't worry! Just call the NSA, they'll have have all your information backed up"
"What did the testicle say to the other testicle? ""Between you and me, I think something's up."" I'm slightly tipsy, this is probably a terrible joke. Merry Christmas!"
"I want 2 kids just in case the first one doesn't get enough likes on Instagram."
"How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 or 2. Now 1... or 2."
"Drinking this No More Tears shampoo is just making me sadder."
"I put the ""arse"" in ""arsenic"". I also put the ""arsenic"" in your ""morning coffee"". Revenge is best served with a donut."
"I mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later"
"air hand dryers are afraid of people and when you put your hands near them, well, thats them screaming."
"It feels like every time I look at the time it's 9:11 I hope this doesn't get me on a watch list."