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Joke of the Day

"My new dentist called me back in to make another mold of my teeth. Needless to say he made a terrible 1st impression."

"Why couldn't they save the shipwrecked hippies? They were too far out, man."

"I wish I was Jesus so instead of listening to the same Christmas songs every day if the office, I could be dead."

"Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. ""Why are we running so fast?"" asked one. ""Because"" said the second ""it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"""

"I don't know what's longer: a microwave minute or a treadmill minute..."

"My favorite thing to do after a nap is immediately take a second one."

"After years of poor yields, Old McDonald will have to sell his farm... ... to cover what he e-i-e-i owes."

"""Excuse me, do you validate parking?"" I sure do, champ. *kisses your forehead* Your parking is second to none."

"Yo mama is so dumb..... That she shakes her baby when she reads the orange juice label."

"It should be socially acceptable to end any boring conversation by shouting ""UNSUBSCRIBE!"""