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Joke of the Day

"After years of poor yields, Old McDonald will have to sell his farm... ... to cover what he e-i-e-i owes."

"Why are automatic vehicles difficult to drive? Because they don't come with a manual"

"When one door closes... An incognito window opens."

"I was sitting at my desk, trying to think of a double entendre... ...but it got really hard."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. He's not coming."

"I'm feeling like a country Hungary"

"I went out for dinner last night. The Captain's Basket was on special for $7.00. I tried it just for the halibut."

"So the iPhone 7 gets arrested... He puts on his earpods and smugly declares ""sorry, you can't charge me while I'm using my headphones""."

"By the power vested in me by my credit card, I now pronounce you my new fluffy hat. You may now hug my head."

"Is it still a walk of shame if I'm leaving my own house? It ain't like I'm proud of what happened in there."