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Joke of the Day
"What happened to the octopus in the football game? He had tentackles."
Next Joke
"I love my yoga pants. I have no idea what they have to do with yoga, but they're great for drinking, smoking and tweeting."
"Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Because their plugged into a genius!"
"My Wife does this cute thing where she says that ""actions speak louder than words"" and then gets pissed at me for just nodding."
"[on phone] mom I need u to pick me up from the restaurant right now *whispers* no the date is going terrible, she pronounced it 'pokey-man'"
"How many Liberals does it take to change a lightbulb? The light bulb doesn't want to change and you should stop forcing it to do what it doesn't want to do."
"Why do physicists love going to church It's the center of mass"
"What's a neckbeard's favourite element? Manga-nese."
"How did Hitler like his orange juice? Reposted. No? OK. Concentrated."
"make your life more efficient by cutting out the middle man. quit your job. kill your friends. throw your food directly into the toilet."