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Joke of the Day

"I love my yoga pants. I have no idea what they have to do with yoga, but they're great for drinking, smoking and tweeting."

"Why did the semen cross the road? because I put the wrong sock on this morning... :("

"What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off? Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling."

"Its weird that goldfish will eat other goldfish but wont eat goldfish crackers. Life sure is complicated sometimes."

"If you woke up in the woods with your pants at your ankles, a condom in your ass, and no recollection of the last 24 hours, would you tell anyone? Wanna go camping?"

"How does a boat captain determine his profit? By using aquadratic equation. (Via my coworker)"

"I don't see why people dislike racial diversity I'm getting bored of watching the 100 meter dash."

"How does a handwriting analyst determine how his lover is feeling? He looks into his lover's 'I's."

"A man walks into a gay bar.......... The bartender asks ""Would you like me to push in your stool?"""

"[Racist] Why can't African Americans stretch their arms? Because they're handcuffed."