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Joke of the Day

"make your life more efficient by cutting out the middle man. quit your job. kill your friends. throw your food directly into the toilet."

"What's got 8 feet and 10 shoes? The McCann Family."

"My friend was trying to annoy me with bird puns Well, toucan play at that game"

"Why do gay pirates always fight each other? They are always trying to get to the others booty"

"What body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s? Spine"

"I don't really know how to tell jokes"

"The truth about 9/11: it equals 0.81818182"

"So your face, is it permanently like that or are you genuinely surprised every time you take a selfie?"

"What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch? Namaste"

"What is the difference between a teacher and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four..."