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Joke of the Day

"My friend used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything."

"So there's a child and a gorilla... Well there WAS a gorilla."

"What do you call a short psychic who got away with murder? A small medium at large"

"Meet my new lizard friend... He's my newt!"

"A blind man walks into a Fifty Shades of Grey theater takes a deep breath and says "" MMM ... I guess I'm at a fish market"""

"Anyone heard that joke going around about paper? I thought it was pretty tearable."

"A priest and a rabbi are sitting together. A young child walks by and the priest says, ""Man, i'd love to screw that kid!"" and the rabbi responds, ""Out of what?"""

"Contact Ad ""Seeking man with ponytail. Hairstyle doesn't matter"""

"Did you hear about the movie based on an Australian dystopian future society? Apparently it's a cross between Idiocracy and Mad Max....it's called Bogan's Run..."

"Why did Negan watch Arrested Development? Someone told him there were two Lucilles"