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Joke of the Day

"A kid at the park said a giant hemorrhoid is heading toward Earth. I know he misspoke but in the closing days of 2016 one can't be too sure."

"Can ""born this way"" apply to laziness?"

"What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline? A milkshake!"

"I wouldn't create a palindrome for a Klondike Bar. But I'd... Murder for a jar of red rum."

"They told me to dress for the job I want, not for the job I have. They fired me the next day because I dressed for a blowjob. I'll show myself out..."

"I'm starting a magazine called ""Jugs"". It's mostly about pottery."

"IF you feel cold if you ever get cold just stand in a corner for a bit. they are usually around 90 degrees."

"Disabled toilets... Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in."

"HIM: If you're upset that people think you're weird, have you tried being less weird? ME: [eating ice cream with chopsticks] Yes."

"Why is Iraq like the weather in Britain? Because it's either Sunni or Shiite"