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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Ellen Pao and a catfish? One's a scum sucking bottom feeder. The other's a catfish."

"What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeno business"

"A man knocked on my door the other day with a beard. No wonder I didn't hear him."

"once tom cruise and will smith bumped into each other.. and this is how online scams get your attention"

"One time I smashed my face into a keyboard and accidentally wrote the fifth Twilight book."

"Kim Jong-un promises a new clear future for North Korea Oops, spelt nuclear wrong."

"The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you would actually kill me."

"When I get fired, I assume they are going to show me a hidden-camera montage of me flipping off my boss and customers behind their backs."

"Pro tip: Instead of having kids, just adopt a couple raccoons. They'll trash your house too, but at least they can feed themselves."

"My boyfriend called me today in tears. He said he found a lump on his testicles. I explained to him that it was actually his cock"