223572

Joke of the Day

"When I get fired, I assume they are going to show me a hidden-camera montage of me flipping off my boss and customers behind their backs."

"I just did an alignment on my car... But my car still pulls into crowds :("

"So I've been studying up on clams lately I want to take up boxing, and I heard part of training is mussel memory."

"Hitler was't that bad of a guy He did kill Hitler after all."

"I saw two lesbians kissing in the park. ""There's a time and a place for that,"" I told my wife. She said, ""Yeah..."" I said, ""It's 9pm and my house."""

"What did the two oceans say to each other Nothing.. They waved."

"Should I include ""hard working and honest"" in my resume? Applying for a software engineer's role at Volkswagen."

"A programming genius named Sewter Built a limerick-writing computer The metre was fine And the rhymes quite divine But for some reason it always got the last line wrong"

"Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff? tequila!"

"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? ""Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!"""