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Joke of the Day
"One time I smashed my face into a keyboard and accidentally wrote the fifth Twilight book."
Next Joke
"What is Hannibal Lecter's favorite Jane Austen quote? **""There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.""**"
"The Japanese flag is actually just a pie chart.. ..about how many of them are scared of Godzilla."
"I keep a tiny vial of gluten in my pocket in case I ever need to smash it on the ground to make a getaway from a large group of hipsters"
"You know what George Bush and Floyd Mayweather have in common? W."
"What's the difference between a raft guide and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family."
"Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, its heading straight for the World Trade Center."
"Why aren't there any Walmarts in the middle east? Because there's Targets around every corner."
"what is the difference between mosquito and prostitute? One sucks free of cost while the other is paid for sucking"
"perfect vision Whenever someone asks me what I plan on doing in five years I always get frustrated. Like c'mon guys I don't have 2020 vision."