83797

Joke of the Day

"A chemist and his friend walk into a bar... The chemist asks for some ""H2O."" His friend asks for some ""H2O too."" His friend dies."

"What do you call jokes that belong to everyone? /r/Jokes"

"What do you get when you divide (Sin B) by (Tan B)? You get roofies, cuffs and a sore butthole"

"Gyms are full of people that haven't found the right couch."

"HADES: Unleash the hell hound! CERBERUS: *sipping tea* I told you to ask first if it's a good time for us. HADES: Is it a-- CERBERUS: No."

"There's a doctor who goes around my neighbourhood handing out body parts... ...he gives me the willies."

"[spelling bee finals] JUDGE: your word is ""asterisk"" KID: can you use it in a sentence? JUDGE: *adjusts mic* yes"

"My friends say that I'm gay because I don't like football. What a bunch of idiots. I'm gay because I like cock."

"[doing crossword] Me: I'm looking for a word that means slight pause Her: Hiatus? Me: *erasing 'our sex life'* thanks"

"Survey gone wrong.. or right?? On a survey for 'which conditioner you use?' 99% of the womens said 'aaahhhhhh.....get out of my shower!!!!'"