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Joke of the Day

"[spelling bee finals] JUDGE: your word is ""asterisk"" KID: can you use it in a sentence? JUDGE: *adjusts mic* yes"

"What do men and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up."

"What's worse than seeing a worm in an apple u just bit into? Holocaust"

"How is sleeping with a girl whose dad is in the other room the same as being kidnapped? Come quietly and nobody gets hurt."

"what idiot called it a best man instead of a lord of the rings"

"Two atoms walk into a party at the Large Hadron Collider... It was full of nerds so they split."

"Alabama: where the men are men and the sheep are scared"

"What's the hardest thing about skydiving? The ground."

"PRETZELS Two pretzels were walking down the street, and one was a salted."

"This isn't a competition! -People who are losing"